Thank you Sabrina That’s probably one of nicest compliments I have been given by somebody on the internet and I appreciate it. Mandy is a wonderful woman and every day I spend with her I am falling deeper and deeper in love with her. I’m literally head over heels and like I said, I’ve never felt this way about somebody since Jessica passed away. Not even Rachel. When we were at the shops this morning I pretended to fall on her and she grabbed me and I said “Hold me darling I think I am falling into your heart” and she burst out laughing and everybody was staring at us.

I might have made a fool out of myself but it was worth it just to put a smile on her face. She thinks I am crazy sometimes and I am. I’m crazy for her and I want to be forever in her heart. I used to do the craziest things possible to make Jessica laugh when I was younger and that is what I am doing for Mandy. I’m not planning on climbing any trees though but I would if she wanted me to. She is an angel in my eyes and all I want to be for her and what she is to me. She has breathed new life into me and she has saved me from my depression. I can’t thank her enough for doing that I’m still trying to figure out where she hides her wings but I will find them one day.

Losing Jessica was the hardest thing I had to go through Visioneer. I had to go through it all by myself for a lot of years and there was nobody there to comfort me. My so-called friends blamed me for her death because her father was driving her to my house when they were involved in an accident and I spent the next few years crying until I met Rachel. Jessica was my soul mate. Without her I didn’t think I had anything worth living for and tore me apart. Everybody just expected me to get over it but I couldn’t for a long time because we were so close. Losing Rachel was the second hardest thing because even though she was a lesbian I loved her more than anything.

After Rachel passed away I just wanted a girl who would love me the same way Jessica did and with Mandy I have that. She has forgiven me for the mistake and she knows it won’t happen again. I think one of the main reasons I accidentally called her Jessica is because we are starting to really share the same connection and this is the closest I have been with somebody since Jessica passed away. I’m always going to have a place for Jessica deep inside and she has become a part of me. I have never been through a breakup but I know it wouldn’t hurt as much as losing your soul mate.

I think Mandy is my second soul mate. I have said this on here before and it’s because we are alike in ways and we have a very strong bond like I had with Jessica. I told her that the other day that the other day and she just smiled at me and kissed me. I feel like I know what she is thinking sometimes and she knows what I am thinking too. I went to say something the other day and Mandy said it for me before I could and that’s what me and Jessica used to do.