(Deep breath.)

OK. For me, organization does not come easily. I had to work hard to learn those skills. The act of putting a few things where they belong, so I don't have to waste time looking for them next time, comes at a tremendous price in brain strain.

So I would really appreciate it if, the next time I went to use something, it would STILL BE WHERE I PUT IT LAST! But unless I live alone in a house, it never is. And I am getting just darn sick of still having to hunt for things even though I have been very careful to put them where they belong. I am tired of opening a cabinet or drawer I have recently exhausted my mental capacity organizing, carefully sorting objects into containers and placing them thoughtfully near where they are used, only to find that the drawer or cabinet is so quickly cluttered *again* from people just mindlessly throwing random things in there. All that work for nothing. News flash: just because something is out of sight does not mean it is put away! I am tired of getting ready to take a shower only to find that, again today, there are no clean towels when I just hung fresh towels up YESTERDAY. I am tired of constantly clearing off every horizontal surface in the house, only to find that the next day they are again piled high with dirty dishes, hats, jackets, belts, and junk mail. I am tired of those hats, jackets, and belts not being up on hooks, and the shoes not being on a rack I placed near the front door just for that purpose. But no, instead shoes end up in the middle of the living room floor. It seems no one really cares but me.

It is not that I am a compulsive neat freak. I have to have minimalist decor and a high level of organization because without it, I become visually overstimulated and cannot function. In an environment with even a little bit of random clutter, I can't do anything but stand there and say "duuuuuh" while I leave my OWN things out, because I am mentally short-circuited and don't have the brain power to think about where my things belong. Every time I put something away, it requires total alertness and full intellectual engagement on my part. I cannot do it automatically. It does not come naturally to me. It has taken me years to come to the point where I can even think logically enough to keep a home looking reasonable. Then I put forth the supreme effort it takes, only to have it sabotaged by people who couldn't care less where something is, as long as the place doesn't look like something you'd see on Hoarders.

You would see a parallel among drug addicts. Just as they cannot use only a little, but must abstain completely or else they are off and running, I cannot function in just a little bit of clutter. Either everything is organized, or because I can't think properly, in short order everything is total chaos. There is no such thing as a clutter level I can work with, just as for an addict there is no safe level of substance abuse.

I have tried and tried to explain to people why this is a problem for me. Why isn't anyone listening?

End of rant. Thank you for the space.