I've been seriously disconnected from reality for the past 3 weeks or so. I hate that feeling, but on the plus side, my anxiety levels were way down, because I was just so incredibly numb!

Well - now, I've managed to re-connect with reality, and while I love the feeling of being back in touch with things, and being more focused, and just being able to experience things more fully....my anxiety is back at a high level again!

It feels like I can't win...I can either be numb and not feel anything, or I can experience everything clearly, but that includes the anxiety. I know there has to be a middle ground, and today I'm going to ask my T for ways to help me find that middle ground.

The last 3 weeks, when I had a session with my T, there was no anxiety before hand...mostly because I was just so detached from my emotions. Now that I've rejoined reality, I'm panicking about my session in an hour. I asked my T, in an email, if we could do a mindfulness exercise at the start of our session...I'm so glad I did, because with my anxiety levels as they are, I'm not sure I'd be able to handle the session otherwise.

This is so very frustrating!!!!!!!!