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While life may have put a major monkey on your back, you also are gifted with some fine traits that will serve you well. Good job on putting pen to paper to organize what you've figured out so far. I hope your therapist is as committed to thorough analysis as you are.
Every place is different, but being on a county plan, rather than private insurance, may not be all that bad of a thing. They don't tell you up front everything they have to offer. A county plan has to be careful to not attract excessive use of their resources. So they tend not to advertise what they do. As they get to know your situation, they might offer you more help than you are aware they can offer. That's why I stress not underplaying the seriousness of your problem. They need "evidence" to document that you need and deserve serious help. You help them get you qualified for the best they can do by discussing the things that are hard to get into. Also, they need to hear how those issues get in the way of you being able to function at your best.
You're doing a good job of holding up your end. It would be a shame for you not to get the help that enables you to have the best life you can. And it sounds like there is considerable room for improvement. However, fortunately, you have so much of what it takes to improve.
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