Check out the internet to see if there are any local playgroups or support groups you could be involved with with the kids. Sometimes it helps to know that you are not the only parent who feels overwhelmed by pretty much parenting alone, even in a relationship or marriage. There might be something in your community that can help take the pressure off, give you an outlet, and maybe you and other people can talk about coping strategies for your situation.

Have you been in the parenting forum at all?
http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=52
You might find something here that could be helpful, if you haven't already been there.

I don't really know know what to say about your husband. I hope that his drinking doesn't become more serious. It could be true that he got into the habit with his army buddies, and maybe he's even trying to hold onto that lifestyle a bit. I don't know a lot about your relationship dynamic, so I don't know how comfortable you are having frank discussions about how you are feeling right now. He doesn't seem that willing to work on things on a permanent basis. I guess you have to decide what you're willing and not willing to put up with, and make your feelings and intentions really clear. It's kind of up to him whether or not he puts an effort into improving things. I'm really sorry about your situation. You need his support, but he seems to be a bit self absorbed right now. I hope he smartens up.