Quote:
Originally Posted by mgran
For example, yesterday morning I imagined a whole text conversation on my phone between me and my landlady, which culminated in her telling me to move out.
|
When you have these kinds of delusions, do you try to figure out what they mean?
My son keeps telling me that sometimes he just wants something to be true badly enough that he makes it true in his own mind. He believes it because he wants to believe it. But he's also had lots of distressing delusions. So where do those come from?
Your conflict with your landlady is real on one level. I think you may have some angry feelings toward her? Maybe you don't feel like you can express those feelings without having a fight that would get you evicted? Have you settled the dog issue yet? Could it be that you feel vulnerable because she's not allowing you something you want (and probably even need), but that moving to a place that would accommodate a dog isn't possible right now?
I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you. I ask because it seems to me that my son doesn't feel like it's permissible to express strong negative emotions. Or even mild negative emotions sometimes. I think sometimes he pushes those emotions down and they pop back up in odd ways. And then when he can't push them down, he doesn't handle them well because he hasn't had a lot of experience in expressing them appropriately. So he lashes out and punches the person who is provoking the anger, because he can't escape and he doesn't know what else to do.
I think the whole system around mentally ill people colludes in suppressing emotions like anger. I think too many mental health professionals fear strong negative emotions, especially when expressed by mentally ill people. I suspect that an angry patient in a mental hospital is more likely to be sedated than listened to and heard.
One time we were in a med check appointment at the mhc. My son was pretty confused and wasn't making a lot of sense. Suddenly he looked directly as me and said, "You're irritating me." It was literally the most coherent thing he'd said in possibly days. The pnurse immediately distracted him by saying, "Are you talking to me?" It was clear he was talking to me, but he took the opportunity to deny it. So we lost the chance to hear him express whatever was making him angry at that moment. And he went back into incoherence.
The general feeling I've had with most mental health professionals is that we should all make nice and no one say anything uncomfortable.
Ronald Bassman tells this story on his website:
Quote:
|
Anne Krauss, a psychiatric survivor working in the mental health field in New York tells an illuminating story of the effects of suppressing anger. She worked as a peer advocate in a state psychiatric hospital, and on one occasion she was in the ward talking with a patient for whom she was an advocate. Knowing that her complaints were legitimate, Anne listened respectfully to the woman as she angrily complained about not getting what she wanted. At the time, a psychiatrist assigned to the ward who knew both Anne and the patient walked over and placed himself between the two women. He faced Anne and said, "You know, some people just don't know that they should not be angry with people who are trying to help them. They would get along much better if they showed more respect." After he walked away, Anne resumed the conversation. The woman was no longer lucid. She ignored Anne, and began talking to the voices only she could hear. Anne was stunned by this example of the price paid when you are forced to bury your anger.
|
http://www.ect.org/selfhelp/psychtoday.html