Hello everybody,

I'm new to this forum. I've recently joined PC and have mainly been on the depression forum. However, I believe that depression / depressive symptoms might not actually be the primary concern as doctors and I have believed most of the time.
A very perceptive counsellor had noticed many years ago that I push people away from me and then pull them towards me. Having had a look at the personality disorders here I seem to have most symptoms for dependent as well as avoidant personality disorder (sounds like a contradiction, I know).
I didn't even know that these disorders exist.
I realise that there have been many things going wrong with me in my friendships with others (intimate relationships I've mainly avoided and was almost "phobic" (again my previous counsellor's words) in this context.

It's really amazing for me that there are people who seem to have gone through similar things. I believe that I have somehow improved, but recently I've noticed that I'm far from recovered probably because I've never received long enough therapy for it.

I've often hated how I seem to sponge off others, how I am the needy one and when I got depressed about it I sometimes thought that people like me just behave like parasites and that I shouldn't be alive if I can't give something back. I know that sounds strong, but this is what it's sometimes been like. I want to improve even more and hope you all can do so as well.

As I've usually only received treatment for anxiety or depression and know many CBT techniques for those, I actually don't know anything about treatment options for dependent (and avoidant) personality disorder(s).
Are there any??? Or is all lost? I really think that if I could come to grips more with these disorders, depressive symptoms might be less prevalent and possibly anxiety as well.
I'd very much welcome any experiences, advice or knowledge on how to improve.

I only know it doesn't seem to be as easy as telling yourself not to confide in someone or depend on someone.

Hugs to everybody and thank you for this forum. At least some behaviours might not just be attributable to meanness or selfishness and I feel a bit less like a freak than I sometimes do now.
Shadow-world