My name is Lia and I was diagnosted with bipolar disorder about a year ago. I am a rapid cycler meaning I have mixed episodes as well. Experiencing mixed episodes is both scary and dangerous. It's scary to feel on top of the world and then just a few hours later feel like you don't know why your living. It takes a long time to accept the fact that your ill but I give you all the credit in the world for taking action and getting help. Things will get easier. just be open minded when you go to see the doctor and know that medication can help you but it will take time. You can do it! I hope you feel better soon and know your not alone.