Okay...so I had a session today with T...and I honestly felt like in the beginning he was not as present as he should be...I brought in a list of the things I would like to talk about-and it I would say what it was then I felt like he was responding with okay thanks for that info..not worth expanding on...and that he was not invested in being there with me...we also had a sort of tiff about an issue I felt he would just not let go-and i said you are pissing me off. so we talked about it a little more-then I started crying hysterically and said I was just tired and that I've had a hard week and I've just been trying to keep it together...then we did get into a transcrisis event that happened this week and I read him a letter I wrote to my inner child and he held my hand while I read it-but then when we hugged i held him onto him a little longer than usual or something and he said "oh you are really holding on there" or something and it struck me the wrong way and really hurt my feelings. Also-he told me he added another client to his schedule...and that irritated me as well.
Sooo....I leave feeling like I'm in a daze and I get home and decide I'm going to email him and tell him all the things that bothered me..and that I want to take a few weeks break...I slightly regret doing this-and I'm terrified of what he is going to say back...gahhh!!