Quote:
Originally Posted by SolutionIsProcess
Learning how to be alone is really tough. My roommate is confronting the issue right now, someone else's roommate on this board is trying to confront it too, and I have personally had to confront it myself in the past. It's not easy.
I am cautious to tell you that you just have to learn how to be independent and alone, because that is an American value, and I'm not sure what your cultural background is or anything like that. But I would say to try and further develop a life that is meaningful to you, whether that includes others or not.
If you're not in counseling already, I would suggest starting on that first. Find a good therapist that you click with, even if you have to shop around for a liittle while. It sounds like you have a good idea of some of your issues (eg: developmental needs) and I suspect you would be a great candidate for therapy if you're not in there already.
Good luck and keep us posted.
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Working on it. I'm a Norwegian-American (first generation), who grew up in a military family that moved across the state, country, or planet, about every 2-3 years. I always needed something or someone to cling to, that would give me some sense of stability. That was what I was getting from living with someone I have known for several years, during which time I have moved three times, and she had been in the same location for about half of my lifetime. I'm a bit on the autistic spectrum and I like things to stay consistent, and nothing in my life ever has, so I latch on to other people who have the consistency and stability that I could never get. But the catch is, if my anchor people ever move or aren't there anymore, I really can't deal with that.
I'm in therapy. I know I need to work on those developmental needs and trauma issues, but from week to week that stuff gets overshadowed by whatever crisis is current.
Being alone and independent is probably even a stronger value to the typical Norwegian than to most Americans.
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg
