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Lexicon78 said:
I know when I recall my bad episodes I know in my head they were really bad, but it's like there is a wall or something that blocks me from knowing emotionally how bad it was for me. Like I can't recall how I felt or what I was thinking at all.

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Yea, that's exactly what I'm talking about. It's like I grasp the idea that it was really, really bad - but emotionally it's like talking about someone else.

Hm. Weird. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that this happens to!