Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
easy for you to say maybe. What if you were asked to write down every event of importance in your day, and examine every reaction you have, and try to think up and list possible alternatives to the reading you instinctively gave?
Do you know how deeply confusing it is to keep questioning every single reaction you have? Especially if you have a lot of self doubt to start with? You begin to wonder if maybe you can't ever make a reasonable reaction at all; you begin to think that maybe you don't use your God-given reason, you just emote. Well, reason is what makes us human beings; without reason we are not human. Reason is what makes us sane, Sblue, without reason we are literally - insane.
I refuse the idea that I am insane, and yes I balk at the idea of documenting how I "fail" to use my reason all day every day. I don't care how kindly and gently T packages it, I am not going to accept that; so why continue in therapy?
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Oh yeah, it's easy for me to say because I recognize it so well. I'm a master at negative self talk.
And, if I were asked to do that assignment, I would refuse. As I stated before, you must feel that any exercise that T gives you will benefit you and if it doesn't feel right, then you must not do it.
Of course, you're not insane. You're struggling to manage emotions like most of us are.
I don't know how your T does therapy mostly so maybe her method is not what will work best for you. I know my T backs off when she senses real resistance in me and will come at me later or in another tack. She is very sensitive to what I am able to do at the moment. And I've even said to her, "I don't want to do this!" And she respects that.
So, I truly believe therapy can be helpful but there needs to be a good fit between client and T.
So sorry you're suffering so much now.
