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Sep 02, 2011, 05:53 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: Muskegon, MI
Posts: 64
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Hello Friends ~ My name is Jeanne and I hope you are doing well. Life sure can be a struggle at times. I have a questions with regards to my eating patterns.
I have been overweight the majoroity of my life. I got really sick back in 1975 and lost a great deal of weight . When I was diagnosed with Lupus the same year, I was put on a number of medications and I began to gain weight rapidly (that and no activity due to depression).
I have been watching my weight and have even been through a Weight Management class . with diet and exercise. I put some weight on, . My problem now is that I'm afraid to eat because when I do, the pounds come right back on. I don't exercise much due to my depression--I hate leaving the house, much less my bed. I've started taking Milk of Magnesia on a regular basis, especially if I've eaten anything of substance. I try to eat only one meal, usually supper and that is usually a salad. For a snack at night, I have fruit. When it comes to someone serving a big meal, I panic because I don't want to eat much, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. When I get home, I gulp down the "MOM" and pray I'll lose what I just ate. It works fairly quickly and I am on a high because it did. I also use the instant laxative that you mix with juice...hasn't worked as well as "MOM," and it is far more expensive.
I realize none of these are good for me, and when I don't use either of them, I am so constipated that I get chest pains when trying to go to the bathroom. but laxatives are not the answers, nor is skipping meals. Any suggestions? I've thought alot about purging, but it would be way to obvious in my household -- couldn't keep it a secret. I wish there was no such thing as fat...life is hard enough just trying to deal with one's emotions...sometimes I just don't understand. 
Blessings ~
__________________
When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."
-- Author Unknown --
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