At the beginning of last week I was experiencing a lot of negative emotions leading to some suicidal thoughts, including thinking about methods. A few days after that I was unable to feel anything. I am still at that point, and I am finding it really distressing. The only thing that is able to get through is random bursts of anxiety. The really odd thing is that when I was numb, I was wishing I could get back to the point of feeling bad again, even if it meant I had to go through the suicidal thoughts.

I'm curious as to your experience of these emotions. Is it more uncomfortable for you to experience the negative emotions or to feel numb? I am asking because I told my therapist about this and she said that the numbness can be like a respite from the other emotions. I found this to be the opposite and wonder what others' experiences are.