Quote:
Originally Posted by googley
How do you know when you are talking about serious things that need to be talked about (IE related to the relationship) and when you are just avoiding (and possibly causing problems to avoid) difficult issues? My T said that she will call me on it when she thinks it is happening, but I'm not sure now. I'm not sure of what is happening. I'm not sure when or if I am creating drama to avoid topics. We have so many different irons in the fire it seems like none of them get done. We skip around from session to session. I really try not to, but my T lets me pick the topic and it ends up happening. So I dip my toe into one topic, and then next week I can't get myself to go back to it. So it waits around awhile before we get back to it. I feel like I'm never going to be done.   |
I think, in this you may just have to trust your T to call you on avoidance behaviors if she sees them happening.
With my T, I told her upfront that some topics are especially hard for me, and I know I will avoid them. I asked her not to let me avoid them, and she's managed to bring them up even if it's just for 5 minutes in every session. Maybe you could ask your T to do something similar. Or, maybe you could ask your T to help guide you in to discussing some of the topics you think you might be avoiding.
I too am experiencing the many irons in the fire feeling, and I do wonder sometimes if I'll ever manage to fully address everything and if I'll ever be "done." It's something I've decided I need to bring up with my T.