Thank you both of you for answering. I'm still with him because even though I know he can be very mean and uncaring, it feels so complicated because of my own problems and the fact that we have a young son. I don't know what all he says behind my back, judging by what I've heard some of his friends say about their significant others it makes me think nothing good. But aside from that I suppose I just have this fantasy about having a good relationship still and keeping our family together and when I am manic I convince myself it can happen and work and everything will be ok. When I am manic it is SO easy to listen to every word he says and forget all the bad stuff and just be excited about how wonderful our little family is. Its just hard to let that go I suppose. I just need to get my head on and decide what's best for me and my son. But again thank you.