I totaly relate to this, I have always fought sleep. Couldn't say how many poems I have that are about sleep is my enemy. I've tried to make peace, friends with sleep but the thought terrifies me. I too need medication which I also fought to sleep.

I find that it is getting easer. I love where I live now, I do have to keep the bedroom very cold, and sadly I found I had to kick my cat out, he is nocturnal and loves to jump on the bed when he comes back from "chasing" toy mice and that would bring me awake on full alert in a state of panic, scaring the bejesus out of both of us. I refuse to watch anything I know is violent or has referance to abuse, as it can find its way to my dreams making me scared to sleep, and soy milk works as good as cow milk to help put me in a calmer state. I've stopped coming to psych central in the evening for the same reason, I've never come across anything really triggering but just the topic too close to bedtime has a tendacy to stick to me and come up in dreams. Instead I try to read fun books and watch comic, and fun DVD's, before bed and it seems to be helping. I got some old ones from the library for this weekend with Goldie Hawn and Doris Day, nice fun and light hearted.