I'm not really sure what i do . when i was released from the hospital months ago i was good at overcoming my desire to isolate myself, i stayed in touch with my friends and was able to call them when i felt really bad.

i also called hotline numbers a lot.

my friends have all but disappeared and i feel so alone and that makes it worse. i got tired of calling the hotlines because it got to the point where i knew their "script" better than they did. i also had two bad experiences when calling... by far in the minority but my desire to call has been less.

honestly i feel like i am just hanging on by sheer will. coming here helps a lot and i try to send some emails out. i've been trying to stay busy but last few days i've been unable to concentrate.

i'm just hanging on, still working on it. don't have any real hope but i'm just focusing my energy on not quitting.

i hope i'm not making you feel worse. at the very least i can feel your pain and hopefully it will get better.

(((((LD)))))

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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