there are so many things going on in my life right now, and i really can't handle it by myself. my boyfriend broke up with me like a month ago, and ever since then i have tried convincing him to be my friend, and i thought it was working, until just a few minutes ago. he pretty much told me he never wanted to be friends in the first place and that i needed to learn to deal with my problems without his help. i know he was just trying to help me, but he doesnt understand that i cant deal with everything on my own. he thinks im strong enough, but i dont. my mom just broke up with my stepdad because he hit her and i had to watch helplessly. we are homeless now and staying on the floor of somebodys living room. i feel like everything in my life is falling apart, and i dont know how to handle it. i just need to find a way to get rid of all this pain and hurt and betrayal im feeling inside, and dont know how to do it. i just need a way out of the pain, and sometimes it feel like dying is the only way to do that. but then i feel so ashamed because my religion says if you commit suicide, you'll go to hell. but when i think of that, i just feel more and more pain. i feel like im a nuisance to other people, like my ex boyfriend. i hate being dependent on other people, but i dont know any other way to deal with all of this that im going though. i just really wish he could see that i love him so much and that i have done so much for him. all i ask in return is that he be my friend. he doesnt understand that when i make friends, it's for a lifetime. i cant just drop people and never speak to them again. its just not me. i feel like nobody ou there supports me or anything i do. i just really wish there was somebody out there who understood me and who could tell me that i am a good person. on the outside, everybody thinks that im ok, but in reality, im dying inside. the pressure just keeps on building up and i dont know if i can take it anymore. i just really need somebody reliable in my life that doesnt expect me to deal with things on my own because i just cant do that. i really hope you can help me... thank you for at least listening...