I can't recall specifically about my former T's, but I have gone to visit former T a few times in the past 10 years or so when I have been in the state/town I used to live in, and she always expressed (and I felt) that she had missed me and was very happy to have me "check in."

When my current T came back from his (one week, phew!) vacation, he didn't say he had missed me, but he told me that he had thought of me while he was gone, and told me when he thought of me. Yesterday in session he said that he had been thinking alot about the "theme" of the session I had with him last week.

Maybe it's not the same, but to me what he's saying is that the connection is "real", i.e. it is outside the therapy room as well as within it, and he keeps me in his heart and his head some of the same ways that I do with him. To me it felt like he was saying that I matter to him enough to think about outside of the hour he spends with me.

You know, I have really struggled myself with being able to take what people say to me (especially nice things, as I'll happily own whatever lousy thing someone wants to toss vaguely in my direction) at face value. It is just really difficult to constantly look for the opposite meaning or a different meaning other than what people actually say. I've done some lack-of-face-value doosies in therapy lately, from accusing my T of saying that I'm "dumb", that I'm a "bad mother", etc etc when he's actually said the complete opposite.

I think you could be all cynical and come up with a host of reasons for why a therapist would not be honest about this-- people say things about therapy like Ts say what clients want to hear, otherwise you won't be coming back, etc.

In social science theory there is a saying, the simplest explanation is usually the right one. Plus, I do believe conceptually that most people mean what they say, and if you trust your T, part of that means you believe what they say. And, as to you Vaffla personally-- I hope this is okay to say-- the open and heartfelt way you share yourself on here is totally adorable-- and I can see why your T might really miss you.

Anne