And,I genuinely hope that the assists that you are receiving would continue.You will not be kicked off.At the most,the thread may be closed.But,if at that point,you feel that there are members here you want to private message,I would encourage you to do so,and make every attempt to further your quest,and feed that hunger within.You face a normal and natural inner struggle,and which many many people share with you.Keep your chin up....