My user name... Can i just say, that i am completely the same as you, what you have just written, i could have written it myself.
I cant not drink, because thats what i DO. BUT it is a problem for me.
When most people drink who are my age, they reach their limit and then they are sick of they pass out. When i reach my limit, i black out, its not me there its just the alcohol in human form, i dont know what i have done, and then when i find out i am shocked, i've been arrested, tried to kill myself, started arguments.
I cant have sex sober, i cant meet new people sober.
My friends all get drunk and i couldnt go out and not drink. But they'll get sick of my behaviour soon. I really dont know what to do. Aside from all this i'm bipolar and on meds for that, so i shouldnt actually drink anyway else i'm unlikely to live a manageable life.
I honestly think i'll die while drunk and it will be all my fault.