Today it just occurred to me I'm quite annoyed about my situation. You see here's what happened. Last march I had to terminate therapy because I ran out of money. I told the therapist I was seeing that I could no longer afford the therapy. In the penultimate session she started to hold back tears, she was going to miss me it seemed.

This really set me back at the time. I felt pretty bad for her, because being a man it was in my instinct to want to put my arms round her and calm her down. Thing is I couldn't do that as there no touching allowed. It played on my mind for the next couple of weeks that maybe I was quite callous in the way I went about terminating the therapy.

The last session I saw her I explained I would come back within 7-10 months, this was partly because I felt bad for abandoning her, I wonder how badly that affected her. The other reason was I still have other issues I need to discuss, and I can't get another therapist because I don't have the money and can only afford a limited amount of sessions, so don't have time to explain all my life over again.

Now round about May time was when I started obsessing about this woman. Romantic fantasies and wanting to make sure she was okay.

I'm annoyed though, because I think she handled it poorly getting upset in front of me like that. She's also caused me issues now where I feel I need to see her to she if she's okay. This is not me and I don't like it. I never obsess over anybody and I don't like being an emotional slave for someone to take money off of me.

She may not of done it on purpose but it's still manipulation as far as I'm concerned.