Hi, Anne, I have difficulty with things being "automatic" so I don't notice them after awhile is why I used the "where do you get off" phrase, so it would be deliberately provocative and arresting and get your attention.

There always has to be transmission of experience between parent and child; the child doesn't have any experiences of their own and all the parent says and does for, with, around the child for twenty-some odd years are bound to influence. But, and why I used the "where do you get off," it's up to the adult to recognize what has been transmitted to them and check it out, see how "true" it is; I was almost offended when you implied 9/11 was worse for Jews than for others because somehow it was "about" them and their experiences.

That's what I'm saying needs to be observed; I get that Jews are going to be anxious, around murdering Arabs (or, perhaps, Germans) but each situation we are in needs to be assessed for its actual danger; not all Arabs are murdering bastards trying to wipe the Jews off the face of the earth; that Jews have been harried here and there around Europe since before medieval times, I'm too familiar with Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice and it's background, thank you. And how do you know I'm not Jewish, do not come from Jewish roots?

I think your assumptions (and I'm not saying this angrily or provocatively, just letting you know what I think; making an observation, not a criticism) about how others view things, including your son, are based on your own "acceptance" of what you feel has been passed down to you that you feel is not worthy of your looking at and being horrified at, that you were passed down an "incorrect" point of view? It's not your T that should be horrified but yourself that you have to live with all this unnecessary fear?