Quote:
Originally Posted by widgets
If it was a mother sleeping with her son would you still be so opposed to it?
I agree though, it's not healthy for a an 8 year old to be dependant on sleeping with her parent, when is the right time to end it? She can't sleep in bed with him when she is 11/12/13 and by the time she gets to 16 it would be ridiculous.
But it needs to be phased out slowly, it will only cause her problems if she feels abandoned but it's going to mess her up later in life if it continues like this I believe.
Thing is though, he is her dad and it matters not at all whether you're married or not at the end of the day, he'll always decide what involvement and input you have, he needs to be made to realise he maybe isn't doing the right thing and it's not in her best interests l, by you giving an ultimatum isn't going to make him realise that, domaine research and show him the facts and see what happens!
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When I was a kid I slept in a bed with three or four of my cousins on numerous occasions, and nothing untoward was thought of it. (Between fiveish and up to twelvish.) But when I had nightmares and had to go creep into my parents bedroom my Dad always got out, kissed me on the head, and left me to cuddle up with my Mum. This is sadly not possible in this situation, because the mother has failed. But I really do think a prebuscent girl is already desperately in love with her Dad. (Sorry, but it's true... an eight year old girl sees her Dad as the single perfect man in the world.) It's too easy for that adoration to confuse not necessarily her Dad, who won't see it from her perspective, but certainly for the girl.
It's really sad that we live in such a bitter world. But I think the girl shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed with her Dad. I remember how uncomfortable I was when my Dad gave me a goodnight kiss if I was in my nighty, let alone him sharing a bed with me. (He never did, I think I'd have died of embarassment.)
I don't think the father is behaving immorally here, but I do think he's demonstrating startling naivety and innocence. He needs to be protected too, in case some divvy out there hears what's happening and puts two and two together to make seventy six.