Coming in from left field here (Kevin Youkilis, Jewish sometime 3rd-baseman for BoSox), no kids of my own, but it is weirdly validating for me to see how my brother has effed up his kid in so many of the same ways that we were messed up, if not worse. Because these were bizarre double-message-y castrating (REALLY tough on the girls!) mind games - and for what it's worth, MY T's are/were horrified - one even had me calling social services. Current T still gets upset if I mention the kid, sometimes the subject just comes up - I've had to put it all out of my mind, because it was one of the main reasons I said if I started screaming, I'd never stop.

So your awareness of this "heredity", your returning to therapy, your openmindedness, your willingness to engage here and with your children, I think will help protect your children from unconsciously SELF-inflicting harm, which is the most insidious?