Jo,

Welcome to PC. I, too am struggling to put myself first. I think this is pretty common among us women. The extent to which you put yourself out for others definitely sounds like a problem. I doubt you are trying to make yourself feel important; more likely it makes you feel validated and accepted. How is your self esteem? Do you feel valued just for being yourself or only when you are helping someone? Recognizing what you are doing, and why can go a long way toward learning to say no.

Praxis