I was recently diagnosed with bi-polar. I have not started taking the new meds. I am afraid. What if my only moments of elation are eliminated by Lamictal? What if I my heart never races with excitment again? I am already on anti-depressants why do I have to take a mood stabilizer? I am also afraid to tell my boyfriend the doc thinks I am bipolar (and sometimes I agree with him). He knows I struggle with depression and he finds my behavior eratic sometimes, but I don't think he is ready to admit I am bipolar. He will most likely tell me to see another doctor. He really didn't even believe in depression till he experienced my life off the anti-depressants. He felt that I shouldn't have take them, so we agreed I would stop and all hell broke loose, so I went back on them and now he believes in depression. I don't think I can personally embrace this diagnosis. Maybe I don't want to get any better than I am when I am on the anti-depressants. I am so confused.