Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
Sound like you both have trouble with being yourselves? If you're doing something "childish" in front of his house and feel he's giving you his left overs, how you are approaching him might be as much a problem for you and his not knowing what he wants?
Other people can't make us happy; that's not their job. Their job is to make themselves happy and, in doing that, if we are on the same/similar page and working on making ourselves happy, we meet. If he is travelling and you don't want to, presumably you are doing something else besides travelling, something you enjoy! If all he's doing is travelling and you don't want to travel, you probably don't want to be with him.
He should not feel "guilty" for doing what he wants. He's in charge of his life and it comes first in his priorities. He does have to figure out the proportions of travelling versus being with you, not travelling (if you refuse to travel with him/don't want to travel in your own life) and that could take some independent thinking on his part, just as you would use the week you were apart to think about what you wanted your life to be like for you (not with him, but with yourself).
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Hey Perna, thanks for the response. We both can definitely be childish and getting mad and peeling out in front of his family's house was something I'M embarrassed for doing too... it's really not like me to act like that.
I actually love traveling, I just don't have a job that gives me the time/ability to do so as much as he can. My bf is a pilot so his job is life is very dynamic. He can fly anywhere in the world for very cheap at a whim almost. He traveled a lot before he met me and has slowed down since. I'm ok with him traveling and I said if he wants to go one week a month anywhere in the US I don't care and if he wants to go on a long trip overseas... talk to me about it first. He actually liked the compromise; he just didn't like the restriction of having to talk to me. He's only home 3 days a week and they're work days, so I think I was being fair.
We love traveling and I can take days off here and there to go, and we have, it's just harder. All I wanted was to go with him on the bigger trips because he goes once a year and I have the ability to do that.
I've chosen to do what makes me happy now and I think that's where the "eff it" mentality came from. I want us both to be happy... and maybe we just aren't right for each other and I can accept that.