One of present day spiritual guides said : "if you think you are so enlightened, go live with your parents for a week". It is rare parents that know when to give up the idea that they know better what's good for us and stop trying to manipulate us. On our part we respond to this from our ego, and a battle is joined.

There is nothing you can do to make them stop thinking the way they are thinking. You can see your mother's ego quite clearly. But you may also know that she can't help it. Allowing some compassion may help you deal with it in a more peaceful way, which in turn may diffuse her charge a little. I agree though that putting some space between her and you should help, and I hope you do not have to resort to completely cutting off ties. To hold such a grudge would not serve you.

I am glad to hear than Mandy is understanding and I hope you can help soften the bite of the criticisms. Make sure she knows that you are not bothered by her lack of household skills, that you do not require this of her, no matter what she may be hearing (your mom is not the only person in the world with very definite ideas of what a woman ought to do) These things, if and when she wants, can be all learned, and doing things together, can be a great way to bring you two closer.