Quote:
Originally Posted by StrongerMan
I know exactly how you feel. Fostering relationships doesn't come easy to me (I am an introvert) and even a toxic one was difficult for me to let go of. And it sometimes bothers me to this day that this person was unable to give me what I needed. But I was never more alone than when I was with her.
If this is a "friends with benefits" situation and you are not happy, then you have to do what is best for you. And that may mean telling him that you can be just platonic friends or bf/gf but not in limbo as you are now. You must be true to yourself. There is nothing selfish about that. That said, you should communicate to him in no uncertain terms that you need things to move to the next level. That it is a must for you. There is risk involved but the things most worth doing are often the hardest, as they say.
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I know for a fact that if I said we can either be bf/gf or just friends then he would say just friends. He doesn't want a girlfriend for various reasons, but I don't see how we are much different from being bf/gf already. I don't understand what the problem is about being in a defined relationship.
I also know that I cannot be platonic friends with him even though he has become one of my best friends. Everytime I would see him it would just be a reminder of rejection. So I don't want to pressure him because I don't want to lose him completely. I feel like I am miserable no matter what situation I am in. So if I'm miserable without him, I might as well keep how things are going now because at least this way I am not miserable all the time. I enjoy his company and we have fun together. But I just feel like if he doesn't want a gf then why bother spending time with me? I guess I feel like I am in a lose lose situation and I'm just picking the side that isn't as bad. Maybe this situation is best for me because I have a lot going on in my life too. Maybe I don't have time for a bf either. I just hate being so inexperienced and always feeling like I don't know what I'm doing.