Perna: I'm 19 & I'm not feeling hopeless at all as far as this post is concerned. I am just very annoyed. Annoyed that something has been able to elude my grasp. I'm a very introspective person (read: self absorbed) & despise when I overlook things. Thank you for your input though.

Objtrbit: Since this is in the "antisocial" forum, one could only imagine that not being able to connect to one's emotions simply came with the territory! However, it has intensified in previous years, but perhaps that's due to my hormonal outbursts lessening in frequency. And my anger was triggered by nothing in particular but thinking to myself about perhaps pursuing something artistic & I snapped.

Nothing hit me particularly hard. I just have a hard time letting things go when I learn something new: So realizing I had mental issues a bit beyond "she's kinda strange" just gave way to a whole slew of ********. And all of that leaves little time for writing, especially when anything I had to convey was of little consequence.

That's very interesting, about the journal & mentor & etc.. I'm just not quite sure whether it is a total lack of anything relevent to say or it is just me not being able to view anything as relevent enough to inscribe. The line is incredibly fine between the two. I'm just not sure where I fit just yet.

"No way to express it outside of your mind?" Bingo!

A lot of things exist just to infuriate me. Politics, itchy tags in the back of my shirt collar, & other related nonsense. But this feeling has existed for perhaps my entire life... And yes, I feel like a narcissistic jackass by feeling I have this huge, boundless expanse of unlimited potential. Though it could be simply chalked up to a positive view on humanity & how "every person contains unlimited potential", that's not quite what I was getting at. I prefer to realize when I am stepping up on my pedestal.

Well, when it comes to an issue of not being able to emotionally invest into things which are usually refuge for the emotional, I figured this would be the best place in order to post an inquiry. To see if any of the other ASPDs/sociopaths/psychopaths have ever experienced anything of a similar nature. Perhaps I'm strange for experiencing an existential crisis or for being aesthetically-inclined at all, but it was worth a shot. Perhaps someone with more years of this condition on them would have greater insight.

I don't think this has anything to do with being dissociative, as I've experienced states as such before. Derealisation & depersonalisation both under periods of intense stress. However, the anger is a result of this issue, not a precursor. I'm actually doing incredibly fine now, other than a couple of unrelated issues; but this phenomena has existed long before now, as I have previously mentioned. Nothing at all is devestating me. I just want the opinion of others into whether they have experienced something similar & was merely stating a personal anecdote to clear up what I had meant by my initial inquiry.

This has nothing to do with the past or any sort of trauma & I am not being hard on myself. I am just trying to get to the bottom of an existential crisis & wanted to start up a conversation to possibly find some answers or input. : )