I'm in trouble...I have to start this IOP tonight and have been super depressed all weekend and have been SIing all weekend and can't hide it....I've made a mess. Can't deal with this and can't go back...and emailed T for help with depression, and he hasn't responded and don't even want to leave the house. I signed an agreement last week for sui tend, and I think it said something about si but don't remember what it said, and they didn't give me copy.

I've can't even put my watch on..I have no idea what I'm going to do. My T is going to be so mad at me if I don't go to this group. I had this licked for a while and now it's come back worse than ever.... I'm so afraid and panicking and it's 3am and I have to think of something and of course what I'm thinking is NOT the right thing to do... God will this ever end???