"Never" able to connect with your writing? I kinda 'get you' on that.I experience that to a large degree.But,it spills over to many other areas in my life.I imagine that many 'artists'; in every realm of art, experience this feeling of disconnection from their 'works',even when they are very touching works of art, as perceived by others.I imagine 'useful' if you mean its impact on others,is subjective.But,if you mean applicable to self-fulfillment or feelings of accomplishment perhaps artistic endeavors in the lifetime of an artistic person,are a process of development and 'connection' that occurs over the course of an artists lifetime.Your 'feeling there is a ball of welled up potential within' is a whispering 'knowing'.You feel it because it IS there.And I think you will tap into it more deeply on occasions than at other junctures in life.No doubt there are circumstances in your life now...if only transiently,which are posing some form of barrier to your access to connection.Your talent and the formation of the process of its depth in relation to the talent;as with many artists ,will be a process.At 19,I can tell you,you are definantly evolved.And your ability to express yourself is pronounced.The importance of investing your energy is to further develop your talent.Do you really not receive accolades for your expressions in art endeavors....someone please tell me how to spell definantly....lol.I think you are a 'results driven person' who can't see the value of 'the process'.But I also feel that it'd be a very worthwhile investment of time to develop,as it is plain to see;in your writing,and ability to express yourself,that you do have alot of potential.You said,"I'm just not sure where I fit" and BING!,I think that's exactly the issue.But,don't discount the value of 'the process',because that is essential.Your writing inspiration will ebb and flow,that's normal.Even if it feels inconsequential to you ,it is still valuable as a process of development,and you've only hit a snag.I don't agree that it is narcissistic to feel a potential there,it ....is just a knowing/feeling that you have,and likely an inner whisper to keep going with your efforts.I think you will uncover a gradual reckoning in your 'process',and find your niche in this realm.