I was raised in a certain Faith and my father donated his time to teach it to children.
One year my father was not asked back to do this completely donation of his own time, and he was a good teacher. And I can remember my father being hurt by that and I also can remember the essence of politics surrounding that place of worship.
And my father stopped going to that place altogether because of that. So as a family we all stopped. But we did not stop having and practicing "Faith" in our home as a family.

I went to a high school that was a private school and it had a specific faith that was similar to mine but a different title. And the whole time I was there I was permitted to read the books about that faith in classes and was allowed to go to the part of the school where that faith was celebrated. But the whole time I felt like an outsider who just had permission to view that faith and learn about it. So the whole time I attended that High School I just felt like a kind of outsider as most of the other students were part of that faith.

So most of my life I never really felt part of one specific faith but I did learn about faith from reading and I also liked to learn from other faiths too and see what they believed and practiced. But I have to say that I was always a kind of outsider because I had never really been allowed to join one specific faith, or that is the way I felt. But the one thing I did want was to be a good person so I thought about the different things I had read and mostly prayed in private, not really sure if I would be accepted because I didn't really have a specific name of "Faith" that I belonged to.

I finally decided that the most important thing was to learn about how to be a good human being and use the knowledge I had learned from different books and that it was ok to pray and have my own "Faith". And I truely felt that as long as other people from other faiths were respectful and kind to me, it didn't really matter exactly what "Faith" it was that those people belonged to.

And I also realized that not all people follow their specific "Faith" to every single guideline, they just focus on being good people and make efforts to respect other human beings. And over the years I have been around different people who have practiced different faiths and there was a quality to each group of people. So I don't think that one has to really be under one exact faith to be a spiritual person. The most important thing of all is that YOU as an individual find your own personal way of having "Faith". And to be honest, even in different individual faiths, there is an individuality within those faiths that people have and choose to be a part of their personal everyday journey in life.

I know what you mean by a brain washed sense of fearing a cult like atmosphere.
But that doesn't have to be your personal life or sense of personal "Faith and Spirituality". I personally believe that each person has a personal choice and it does not really have to be organized by someone elses beliefs. You should respect yourself and find ways to respect others and know that you can choose your personal "Faith and Spirituality".

I am always open to learning the ways that others practice faith. And as long as that faith includes the acceptance and respect for other human beings, I respect it.
I have come to understand that it is truely a personal choice.

Open Eyes