That is a good question. Richardrahl, it is not easy to convince others to forgive or believe in you. Often people make quick judgements and maintain those judgements of others. It is human nature and when that happens and you have to understand that often others, through their own sense of self protection, forget that people are constantly changing and growing and learning. But, some people do not change, they remain the same and refuse the option for growth and unfortunately many people just believe that they are incapable of change and growth.

In your effort to once again try to get help and therapy and gain new knowledge, you are standing in a threshold between what you now know and what you can learn to know. And if you have decided to step forward into what you can learn to know, it will take time to actually learn to change, and believe that you can. The saying, "Old habits die hard" is very true. The important thing to remember is that "Change" can take place "IF" "YOU" truely make the decision to learn and practice "NEW BEHAVIOR PATTERNS".

Now, you teach English, right? Think about how so many students come to you and struggle to learn English and have to work at remembering each word and what it means and how to slowly form small sentences to convey simple messages. It does not become fluent over night. It takes practice over a long period of time by trying to express simple needs in a new way. And it takes a conscious effort to first think of what word is known and what word can be used to replace that known word in a totally different language. It really takes a conscious effort to push forward and slowly develope that whole new language. And, it is more challenging the older someone gets, but it "CAN" be done.

As you slowly learn English, you gain more power to be around those that speak and live that language. And, as you begin to do that more and more you feel more comfortable with those people more and more. And, there are different ways to learn a new language, some techniques are better than others, much like different kinds of therapy. If you are a good teacher, you will have many students who can slowly master the new language and feel confident about it. A therapist is the same, if a therapist is good, he/she will have many patients that will be more comfortable in overcoming their old habits and have the courage to take on new ways of overcoming whatever it is they are trying to overcome.

As far as the old bridges that were burned by old behaviors? Often it may be best to move on, even though there is regret. It is important to take on an individual desire for the new language that will eventually expose you to new people that will recieve you better. And the people that were old bridges may only serve to add to your belief that you may not be capable of learning a new language. If you tell the old bridges you are going to learn a new language, they will have doubts and will not respond by just the statement that you are "GOING" to "LEARN". It is just the way human nature is. And to truely take on a personal journey, it should be just that, a personal journey and total personal desire and belief and should not be threatened by those that may not believe that you can actually acheive your goal.

When I taught riding, the children that actually learned and got very good at it were not always the ones that had a natural affinity towards it. It was always the ones that had the true desire, no matter what other's negetive comments were, that ended up actually achieving.

My own daughter was told by one trainer that she would never be able to figure out how to ride a horse down to a fence and properly calculate the correct take off distance. My daughter did struggle and could not always complete a full course of jumps nailing every distance correctly. That did not stop her from pressing forward in gaining the knowledge to finally complete a whole course of fences and ride it to the point where every single distance was correctly achieved. The entire time my daughter was struggling to learn, that old trainer would see that one or two missed distances and had to comment that he was right in his assumption. It did not deter my daughter from continuing to strive for the goal of finally accomplishing the ability to ride a course and reach every correct distance. My daughter has finally accomplished that, because she truely wanted it for herself and did not accept the old criticisms of those who would not believe in her. She has ridden with the top trainer who trains the American Olympic Riding team and is extremely critical of riding skills. She was complimented for her achievement of the skills and even used as an example for others to observe the skills necessary for an accomplished ride through a course of jumps.

You have to understand that when you stand in the threshold of doubt, that it is YOU that will be the one that will ultimately decide the accomplishment. And it is YOU that will have to be willing to do the work in spite of those that think you will never achieve. You have to make a conscious decision that you will continue even if you misscalculate a maneuver. It does require dedication and true desire on your part. And you have to be willing to understand that there will always be those that will stand on the side lines and doubt you. So you must learn to ignore that and press forward with your own determination.

Open Eyes