Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker1950
This is a very interesting thread, with some truly insightful comments. I too have struggled many times to regain the faith and affection of people who seemed to dismiss me and move on, seemingly, without much thought, while I "wallowed" in it, much longer than the average person, questioning and berating myself for my shortcomings, for not being good enough. I have often marveled at how quickly other people can move on.
Well, I learned to change this kind of thinking, over much time and hard work, and you, Richardrahl, can grow and change also. I've learned to be kind to myself, and allow myself to move on and experience life, rather than spending inordinate amounts of time and effort on people who have dismissed me, who don't need or want me.
I like the analogy that Open Eyes gave of learning a new language. I often likened it to baby steps, often with some backsliding, but eventually reaching my goal. I wish the same for you! 
Oh, and what Moonbeam2 said, "Reach for the hand that reaches back!" |
Yeah Ive never really had problems meeting people, but people who understand me that is different I have come across very few in my time, those peopel that dont run screaming when i talk about who
I am or the things ive done, those people are rare. Ive never really had big problems letting go but seems like this time I cant but i know I have to. Like moonbeam said about reaching out its her that reaches for me, but then she pulls away again because of the past, I took her reaching out as that leap of faith but before i could show her how different things could be she has gone again. I have blamed myself a lot about thing s in the past but as ive said im starting to see that not all the problems lay at my feet, I ahve very strong need to protect im not really sure why but I have to fight that too sometimes as it can be smothering. I know Im not exactly normal and some peopel would say thats an understatment, but I just want to get better.