I have tried every anti depressent imaginable. I am thousands of dollars in debt trying TMS Therapy. The latest has been ECT. I have not worked for over two months. I still have the humiliation to ad, of going to my supervisor and telling her that I was very depressed and did not want to live. I don't remember the incident but was told by my sister that my supervisor and the "big" boss took me to the hospital. I think that between the depression and ECT my memory is gone. Scary not knowing and remembering. I have a hard time retaining thoughts or even with conversation. MY personality is gone. I am assuming that I will not be able to work. I am so scared and alone.