TW,
You are so not the person your mom was. Or, you wouldn't be here and with your T trying to heal from the wrong that you did. I think we're all just trying to give you a little input about the stumbling blocks we've gone/going through to make the hurt not so hurtful. It's not directed at your ability or inability to be a nurturing person. It is what it is. It's part of the therapy process and the learning process. But, you have to do it at your own pace and safety. Recently, in therapy, my T asked me to just "slightly embrace" a feeling when I see it coming. Oh, Boy!!! I didn't think it was going to be so scary and hard and panicky and anxiety provoking and now my friends son died unexpectedly and I'm dealing with anhedonia (the inability to feel whatever). Tough stuff - but that's another story. This is about you - sorry.

Maybe ask your T for some guidance. They know you best and in what place you are at and what would be appropriate. I just wanted you to know that these are just suggestions that have helped us get through the tough times and to reassure you that you are not a bad person - because you are a beautiful twisted soul

Safe hugs,

Anne and All The Others