These two questions seem really different to me. I do not like to be placated or pacified so if the therapist did that, it would not be what I wanted to hear! They're kind of the opposite for me.

My T is a really good T and we are very attuned so the things he says to me are helpful and often seem to be just the right thing. But he doesn't say them to me because it is what I want to hear, but because it is the right thing to say.

There have been just a couple of times when I felt T was saying something to placate me. I didn't like it! When he did this, I felt like he was trying to cover his butt--he had made some sort of misstep and responded by trying to placate. When he has done this, I see right through it, and wave off his words. I can be pretty dismissive! This happens rarely, though.

Just_some_girl, you mentioned that the placating words came in an email from your T. I would encourage you not to go too much by what is in an email. It's hard to know what someone really means when we can't see their face, hear their tone of voice, etc. Do you also feel your therapist is placating you in person? If so I would urge you to share this thought with her. Would make for a good discussion and increase understanding between the two of you.