Hey Jenn,

Ive been through something similar of late, I provided help and support for someone going through surgery and rough times, I listened to their words about how they loved me, how they cared, how they would always be there, and then once they had taken what they needed from they left in a heartbeat. Like your relationship ours was rocky as we both have issues, but I always thought we would be able to get past that.

I understand your sense of loss because I feel that everyday, its terrible to feel that way and I know no matter what anyone says that feeling wont leave you until your ready to move on.

Love is a hard enotion to deal with because it is so powerful, it governs so much in our lives, it has the power to lift us up and make us feel like gods or shatter us against the rocks and leave us broken.

I dont think its right to say you loved the wrong man, you loved who you loved thats the way of life, you loved and it didnt work out but there is no shame in feeling the way you do, once you get through your surgery, youll have a bright future to focus on. I know it doesnt really help, but I understand how you feel. Dont punish yourself for missing someone who matters to you, all that your feeling is normal even if it is hard.

I hope you can handle your feelings better than I ever could.

Rick