Have you asked your therapist this question? PTSD can come from bullying in your past, it is a form of psychological stress that can collect in the brain over the years and cause your symptoms. And "Rage" is one of the symptoms of PTSD because of the daily triggers you may be experiencing that may be touching on that build up of stress and confusion that you may really not be consciously aware of.

In my own battle with PTSD I have become aware of the fact that on some level I had been struggling with it for a long time. I was managing it (unknowingly) and I had developed ways of working out the times when the emotional aspects of it had peaks and I struggled emotionally. But I did have a very traumatic experience that
completely exposed it and that experience left me with a substancial amout of damage to what I had created as my own personal safe haven in a way. It was an attack of the lifestyle I had built up full of years of slowly building a sort of big grounding method and personal safe place.

As I have been working through several layers of tramatic issues over many years that had built up and stored a lot of anxiety, fear, and emotional stress, I am slowly recognizing that even though I had thought I had coped, I actually didn't, I just surpressed.

To be honest, as I am really looking at how that happened, I have come to realize that I believe that many people have some form of PTSD they are dealing with and don't truely recognize it. And I don't think that it is a uncurable disease of some kind. It is by nature an anxiety diorder, but that disorder does carry different aspects of emotions that circle around the anxiety. And those emotions can include anger, rage, feeling aggitated, stressed, and even depressed. And another symptom that is a clue is a constant desire to revisit upsetting situations that took place in ones past. We can experience something and then, without truely recognizing it, attach it to other occassions in our past where we were presented with an atmosphere of some kind of situation/situations that caused us emotional stress.

The important way to treat PTSD is to seek guidance by a professional that can help you revisit those events and "Validate" the experience of emotions that resulted in those experiences. And in that "Validation" learn to find a true resolve to the emotions that were experienced and surpressed in those events. And that can be any past experiences where someone felt trapped or threatened on some level and that can include an enviornment where bullying was presented to a person, in a school, home, or workplace enviornment. And basically it is a constant intrusion on a personal sense of safety and contentment.

So, what you do in therapy and even on your own a little at a time is to finally address those events and recognize that yes, that really did happen, yes, it was a definite intrusion, yes, it was not your fault, and yes, it made you feel unsafe and confused and upset you.

When most people enter into therapy there is a great fear of revisiting these events and addressing the emotions that come out by the revisit. It is extremely important to understand that it is a "PAST" event and that you are finally going to let it come forward and "Validate it" and with help, learn to finally address and resolve those emotions. Every time you experience anything that is a reminder of that emotional experience where you were trapped, felt unsafe, and did not truely know what to do or how to resolve it, those emotions come forward and the "RAGE" is brought on by the anger of the entrapment and a strong desire to not want it to reoccur.

So, by getting therapy, you are undergoing ways to finally face those experiences and find ways to help yourself avoid being trapped in that way again. You will be slowly learning true "Coping Methods" and will finally be allowed to realize that you "DID" survive it and there can be better ways of looking at those uncomfortable situations and addressing the stress and loss of personal safety that occured with them.

It does take time, but it is very important to understand what you are facing and what your goal is.

You are not alone in experiencing these feelings, there is good support here and you can slowly overcome your past.

Open Eyes