Wow, Stanley. My first thought was to take your post and send it to each one of your elected representatives.

And all your closest friends passing away. I am truly sorry.

The emergency psychiatric care staff where you live are not therapeutic for you. Real help may be out there for you (regardless of that "you can't be fixed"), but it's not going to come from them. You cannot make them reverse giving up on you.

Are you in the US? Have you tried calling United Way/AIRS? They are not for emergency assistance, but they might have ideas about your general situation.