as the wife of a combat vet please don't shut your wife out. I think it is time to let your commanders know how deep this goes. it is called post traumatic stress disorder. The sooner you get help with it the better you will be. I know it is hard to talk about it. talking here is good too. I use to work with alot of vets going thru exactly what you are right now. Some people may tell you to just get over it. Ignore that because it is not possible to just forget it. You can learn ways however to deal with it but above all don't shut your wife out.