... talking to ppl here and not being judged is really helping me see or better yet FEEL the light. Thank you for being so supportive. There's no such thing as conventional relationship but loads of ppl LOVE to judge and label and shun. Guilt-ing me into "behaving" the we others want isn't a good way to accomplish it.

I married very young & didn't follow my heart. I followed everyone's advice and took the secure route. Unfortunately it wasn't a fulfilling route and that's how I ended up falling in love with another.

Funny thing is - never have even consummated this wildly mad love!! Can you believe it! After 7 years we only came very close to it a month and a half ago - then he took it away just before and left me hanging. I think I'm foreplay for him - probably can't get it up anymore looking at the other one.

Anyway getting this all out is making me see the reality of the situation no matter how cruel or twisted. He is nice when no when no one is around and can be a s hit when in front of others to me. Cruel & unusual.

Thank you all so much. I can't even begin to describe the pain I've been in for the last seven years.