I am giving myself a time limit for this to turn rl. And if it doesn't I am moving on. I don't have time nor energy to put into something that won't ever happen. Each day I go thru the list of why it won't work and why it will and each day the list of why it will seems to shrink. I find myself each day growing apart rather than together. I don't know his feelings except he wants to go slow. Painfully slow. Painfull for me is what he means. Why do I do this to myself? Why am I not worth rl?