((((((unhappyguy)))))))

Oh, I can really relate to your struggle unhappyguy. I really think that you are dealing with PTSD the more you describe your symptoms. I can tell you I have been struggling too and I completely understand the loss of work. I have my own small business but this year I was so bad that I did not do very well at all. And there were days that were so bad that I just could not talk to anyone. I am very grateful that I had PC. I used PC alot to just read and post and draw on every positive thought and supportive suggestion I could think of. And it wasn't just for the other person because each question I answered I was also answering that question myself and reinforcing whatever coping methods I had used that were helpful. And I also read some of the other member's feedback from their T's that were really helpful to read and ponder.

I can also really relate to struggling with your therapist, I am not sure your therapist is picking up on your symptoms properly. I had that happen to me as well and I have since found that there are very few therapists around my area that truely specialize in the treatment of trauma and PTSD. I would think that NYC would have an abundance of therapists who specialize in that area, I could be wrong but that would seem a very likely place to have that condition flourish as it is such a high pressure cooker of an atmosphere.

Now I do know that there are specialists over the line in CT as I am not close to the line and in my searches I could see the concentration of PTSD therapists in different areas close to the city on the border of CT/NYC line. I would suggest you try to find a therapist really specializes in that treatment. It CAN make such a difference.

It took me several months to find a decent therapist in my area. It is really worth your time and investigation to make sure that you are receiving the right treatment.

I can tell you that I spoke to someone who specializes in the treatment of Trauma that doesn't practice anymore but has a job in overseeing different trauma treatment centers all over. And this person told me that what I had been doing on PC was good because using the frontal part of my brain was a really good way to help me in overcoming the parts of my brain that were presenting me with so many unwanted emotional and strong bouts with anxiety and then leaving me exhausted. The depression that accompanies PTSD is a bit different than other kinds depression as it comes from both psycholgical and physical exhaustion from enduring the waves of anxiety and emotions that result from PTSD.

Personally I have used clonazapam which is the generic form of Klonipin to help reduce the intrusive exhausting bouts with anxiety. But it is not a cure, all it does is address the anxiety and sleep issues and it has about a 12 hour life to it but I have noticed that after about 8 hours I begin to feel the anxiety rushing back into my body. I will warn you that at least for me when taking it at night, it does leave me feeling kind of hung over in the morning and it does effect short term memory. But I have been taking it for about 2 years and since I have been really working on my past and slowly dealing with it I have noticed a decrease in the anxiety activity that has been crippling me.

I know it seems like it will never end, but I am beginning to notice that I have been doing better as I have been slowly dealing with the past and how it has accumulated into this anxiety disorder. It is learning and knowing how it did accumulate and slowly working at it, the real healing begins and it does take time. It is very important to understand that it is a slow process and you can recover. I truely believe that. I think that to assume that you are going to be forever crippled by it would lend to continuing to contain the emotions and allowing them to keep causing an overwhelming effect. It is better to know and have the mind set that you can learn to overcome it.

I also wanted to add that it may not be such a bad thing that you have given up work and are now concentrating on dealing with this Beast as I call it. You really need to do that with PTSD.
It is better to face it without distractions and if you have a significant other I would strongly reccommend, if you get into a therapy where the therapist really knows your true diagnosis and what it means, have that person sit with the therapist an learn how to support you. It is incredibly important that your struggle is VALIDATED and YOU ARE BELIEVED because it is a hard diagnosis to understand even for yourself. And it can be impossible to explain how difficult it is to others. It is definitely not a change a thought move a muscle easy fix condition as most people seem to think it is that do not have any experience with it personally. I really want you to know your not alone, I understand the struggle, me too. And that was something I truely needed to hear myself.

Please do yourself a favor and get another opinion by a therapist who specializes in treating PTSD.

Remember we are always here for support.

Open Eyes