Is there anyway to make my logical mind stronger? Just did it three more times while typing this.

My heart starts POUNDING wildly & there's all this painful, anxious tension in my chest when I think I hear him coming. My damned logical mind COMPLETELY disappears!!!! A certain times of day it gets really bad.

Oddly enough, I am terrified of what mood he will be in today if he does show up. Will he be nice, cynical, apathetic, mean, nasty, cruelly sarcastic, flirtatious, sweet, talkictive, pensive, rude, touchy-feelie, or walk in with a nasty look ask where's so&so then instantly turn around, slam the door and storm off if whomever he asked for is not here. I dare not call him ever for fear of the same and being hung-up on mid-sentence.