I think I went through a bereavement process when I was first diagnosed. It felt a bit like losing a loved one, but instead of someone else the person that I had lost was me. It does get easier in time and if I am honest now, I feel blessed to have BP. The energy and creativity I get in my highs is imense and better than what I used to have before I became unwell. I try to view depression as a time of regeneration of my energy, ready to start my next adventure when my next high starts. I view the world from a differnt perspective to what I used to. Once you are over the initial bereavement process hopefully you will see some of the positives which can come with BP. Good luck with it.