I know how you feel, I felt broken for a very long time and still do from time to time. Antidepressants can (and do) have a lot of bad side effects. I think right now it is important for you to see a doctor. Your body should be healthy both physically and mentally before you venture into motherhood. Pregnancy and parenting are both very hard to cope with for someone without problems with depression, and it is important that you have yourself back together before you work further on this. Not all AD work the same for everyone, is it possible you just need to try a different medication?

I know someone who was very depressed and could not get pregnant for two years. Once she got herself well mentally and emotionally she got pregnant and had a healthy beautiful little girl. Work on you first, it is the best advice I can give you.

I wish you the best of luck!